Here's a first time post of a #FeelgoodFriday! So, this is just another picture of a chick in her underpants (and super cute lace crop top bralet thingy thank you very much) to grace Facebook like thousands of others, but, it's not.
This weight loss journey has been a long and hard one (giggity). And the mental is just as tough as the physical. This picture is scary. Like, shit your pants and hide under the covers like a five year old during a thunderstorm scary. I posted one before, a little while back, and I was in shorts and a sports bra, but I feel especially exposed in this one. Which is why I'm posting it.
I feel exposed cause after losing so much weight, I find myself far harder on myself. I find myself more critical, more hateful, more hurtful to myself. What wasn't a problem before is a problem now. Oh hey stretch marks! Nice to see ya hanging around lose skin (ba-dum-TISS...get it...HANGING around cause it's...skin...yeah). And I found myself hating my body more than ever. I was becoming neurotic about exercise and counting calories, to the point where I felt like I was slipping into unhealthy behaviors in the opposite direction...like when I was in highschool again giving my senior friends money to buy me diet pills and not sleeping and eating direction. But I saw it, and I saw it was heading that way, and I knew I had to get my head back in check and refocus.
Focus on being healthy. Focus on giving my body good nutrition and fuel and exercising in healthy amounts and not living a life glued to the scale and constantly afraid. Don't get me wrong, keeping track of progress is great, staying on top of shit and being aware is great, but obsessing about it and what the numbers say, and "OH MY GOD I HATE MYSELF I ATE A COOKIE, I WANT TO DIE", can and WILL drive you insane.
I feel like my head is back on track again. I've been resetting and refocusing on what I put in my body to give it the nutrition and the fuel it needs to keep progressing and to going on my journey. It's not even about weight loss anymore. It's about losing fat, and gaining muscle and energy and strength. I started a new nutritional system over a month ago and it has really made me feel amazing! It has given me new motivation and drive!
Feeling good physically helps to keep your head in check too! And while, I see things I don't like...like a lot of things haha...I have made PROGRESS. I have worked really, really hard and I am proud of how far I have come. And I will continue to be proud of the skin I am in now and as I progress in the future. It's the only body I have, and I've put it through a lot. And it deserves to feel loved and appreciated for all it has carried me through ❤.
So there you guys go! I hope you all are feeling good this Friday and if not, I hope you are taking steps to help your mind and body feel better. Cause everyone deserves to love themselves 😘.
Also, I can't be serious taking a mirror underwear pic, COME ON, I'm so lame hahaha...super cute bralet is cute thoughhhhhh
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